Recent plant medicine and connected dream experiences

January 19, 2023: Inhaled 30mg vaporized DMT, after powerful mind clearing/spirit realigning spoken affirmation ritual

Had a breakthrough experience which i haven't had on DMT for many months now of regular use. Usually the experiences are very predictable but this was very new to me.

Reality became distorted and it felt like a rip in the fabric of space occurred and I was being pulled into it. There was still 3 dimensional space however the visual detail was very digital like. There were digital beings in there and it was as if I were being assimilated into this reality, where so many points were going in different angular directions with my awareness moving along with the multiple points in different directions at once. In that sense my consciousness was fragmenting in innumerable points.

I recall white background, with blue and red colors for the lines.

Much of the rest of the trip was a blur in my memory as it went by in an intensity that is hard to hold in your memory when you experience this.

Later at night I had a very adventerous lucid dream! The content is inappropriate to share here but I do feel it was partly connected to the prior evening rituals.

January 20, 2023: Ingested 2.5 grams of Penis Envy and Enigma mushrooms 

An idea popped into my mind that I would be granted a wish

I asked to know if there was some force interfering with my dreaming abilities recently and if so what could be done about it.
I was shown that I have been putting energy into my non spiritual related hobbies recently an that was the main reasoning for this all. I sensed that once I settled myself again my spiritual progress would accelerate again.
It all made perfect sense and the thought occurred did I waste my wish on asking a question that was so obvious on second thought.
I realize that the question revealed the root of the previous matter which
was that it came from a stance of fear of not having enough; and of lacking and not being satisfied with what I already have.

There was also the idea which occurred to me which was that the mushroom spirit was teaching me to feel it communicating with me, but not in words but through my intuition.

I determined to re-center myself in gratitude and in the now.
As I did this my inner field of vision lighted up at innumerable points in different colors but primarily blue. I thought, now that I was done requesting something from the mushroom spirit, the spirit and I could play together and the beauty of the now and a greater aspect of this experience could truly unfold.
For a brief moment I was bathed in the light but within a minute or so my thoughts drifted to random things again and the colorful lights vanished.
I struggled to still my mind and for moments I would be successful and the colors would return but it wouldn't be very long before I got distracted again.
If I settled my mind in stillness something would come to my attention such as my thirst, need to go to the toilet, aching of my body.
I contemplated this experience as it was ongoing. Knowing that there were certain things I could let go of, like minor distractions such as slight temperature adjustments I did not necessarily need to attend to (as those impulses would silence themselves if I ignored them), but there were other points of attention which needed to be attended to such as needing to go to the bathroom or ensure my body had enough fluids as I felt quite thirsty during this time. I know that listening to certain messages the body sends me is imperative to attend to, such as feeling thirsty or if feeling like I should go to the toilet, especially when on mushrooms for if not attended to can lead to a really unpleasant events in my past experiences.

For a few hours I battled within to still my mind and found that if i focused hard i could tighten the pipe where thoughts seemed to flow though, and doing that would be quite effective.
After going back and forth in such a way eventually I started to get hungry and at this point I resolved to try to continue this work on my next plant medicine ritual.

One thing I forgot to work with is to use affirmations to aid me to clear my mind during this time.

As I get more direct experience with this I do observe a direct correlation with the rituals I do prior to having deeper spiritual experiences whether it be through the use of plant medicines or dreaming.

Here's the dream that followed in the evening:

Renovations at home with my sister and dad:
We created so much cabinet storage space that much can be organized but I get into an heated argument with my dad. My sister gets involved and tries to psycho analyze the situation, explaining that my grandfather had just passed away and that's what's really behind my dad being confrontational.

Now I'm at the casino, trying to go to the bathroom but there are too many people lined up.
It is 2 am and I should be going home to sleep but I want to stay out and get into an adventure, but when I notice my pant bottoms are so wide I get self conscious and decide to cancel my plans

[redacted]

I envision a scene of boyhood friend JV and another friend, who I don't recognize now. The caption of the scene is that they are both loving/working on a farm and they grow so many large melons that the conversations of the other friends seem very sexual and crude because he uses his hands a lot to describe the melons and anyone not knowing what he was actually talking about would think he was talking about having sexual encounters with a woman. JV looks very tanned and Italian looking with short hair line a male model. He looks much different than how he probably looks now in really life as he is East Indian, though light skinned.

[I awaken and can only recall the scene with JV at first but after stating, "I recall my stream this rising some previous parts begin to flow to me.]

_

I am now at work and have the memory that the events that happened in the previous dream occurred the day before and that I have not done my regular routine of exercises before starting the day.

I notice that each designated area for parcels has turned into a deep corridor I could walk into as opposed to being a loading cart on wheels. As the parcels were stacked in a mess the thought occurred that they would need to be restacked, but due to the lighter mail volumes these days it might be acceptable to leave as they are.

I decide to find a private place to do some pushups. My work shirt is unbuttoned and untucked and my bare chest is showing. I walk by a cute girl who gives me a little interested look but I am self conscious and avoid making eye contact as I continue walking. I find a spot on my right side by a glass window that is a little hidden by an escalator or something on my left. I drop down to do pushups and immediately notice something is irregular. There is no resistance as I push up. One pushup requires very little effort and gravity didn't pull my body back down to the ground. I realize this must be a dream or something but am not fully lucid.

I decide to go back to find that cute girl from before but she is no longer there.

The location has become a multi level floor casino like the old Edgewater casino in downtown Vancouver. I jump up and easily float above the gamblers focused on the tables. I yell out to the people below to notice that gravity has disappeared but they pay me no attention as their eyes are fixated on the gambling action. I see my father sitting at a roulette table but he doesn't see me.